Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
