You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I don't think brook has ever known best
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
