If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
