btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
