you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize