it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
