I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
