she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
