you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
