Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
