Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
