Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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