You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
