And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
