There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
