Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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