Pants 0. Shit 1.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
