im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
