he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
this just has baby written all over it
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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