I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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