yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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