omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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