I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i will never coherently bang her
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
