Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
