isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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