It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
this boner is exhausting
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
