Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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