I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
