omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
