if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
