do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
