god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
