Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
