$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
