they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
