Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Yo dont text me then not text me
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize