I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
