I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
there was a trapeze. enough said
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
