if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
