You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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