At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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