She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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