He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
