thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
