fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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