May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
