Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
