i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
