We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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