I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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