Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
