Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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