If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
This beer is not sobering me up at all
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
