Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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