false alarm. still invincible.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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