"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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