her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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