You made me cry and you don't even care
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
