I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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