I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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