He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
